Thursday, July 26, 2012

Friend or Foe...or Somewhere in Between - Part 2

So I started on this subject a few weeks ago in this post.

Friendship has always lent itself to some pretty deep pondering...about oneself and about least in my life. Sometimes it's hard to figure out why some people have so many and others seem to have none.

We have mixed feelings about the telephone in our house.

Sometimes we are excited by its ring...and sometimes we are angered...and sometimes it doesn't ring at all.

We love for the phone to ring when its someone we love -- or, for me, when it's a source I've been trying to get in touch with for an article.

We're mad when it's telephone solicitation...or a campaign call...or a wrong number with someone asking for the same people...again.

It's a bit perplexing at times when it's silent, and we realize that the phone doesn't ring for us very often.

My mom has been encouraging us to get to know people and make new friends. She gets very worried about the kids seeming to not have any friends. She doesn't see the effort I've put into helping them find some and how that effort falls flat. If it happens enough times, people finally give up.  I mean, why is the onus always on us to make friends? Why aren't other kids seeking out our kids for playdates?

Phone numbers are exchanged, but no one calls -- on either side.

Sometimes we're told it would be different if our kids went to school.

Hmm... I agree that they would be exposed to more kids, thereby the possibility for friendship goes up, but that doesn't guarantee friends. It seems that people need to be "desirable" to draw friends. I'm guessing we're not.

The kids go to activities -- at church and in our community. We ask the parents/kids to meet up. We get lots of smiles and lots of "sounds great"s. But still the phone never rings...the emails never come, even in response to our calls/emails.

But it's a different world these days -- a world filled with activities of all sorts and electronics of even more sorts. People are busy, busy, busy.  Kids don't play outside anymore.

At least not where we live.

We know. We've "trolled" the neighborhood, looking for someone to meet and get to know and play with. And when kids do play outside, they're not interested in meeting new kids to add to their group of peers. 

No one encourages it either.

We get polite smiles from the adults and wide-eyed stares from the kids. And one look at my kids as we continue to walk, and I know and feel their disappointment.

My point is this:  Friendship is a two-way street. Both sides need to be seeking and working at it for it to work. When just because one side tries and nothing comes of it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them or they aren't trying hard enough. It becomes easy to think that.

Ah, well.  Enough pondering -- and complaining.
 We'll keep on trying...or perhaps it's time to move?

At least we'd get a new phone number.

To be continued...

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