Soul, It Is...Well

Six and a half years ago, in August 2016, I received some of the most devastating personal news of my life: I had breast cancer.

It was a surreal moment. My head spun and my heart raced. I didn't know what to say to the doctor on the other end of the phone call. I felt wordless.

But God, as He always does, put the exact right person in that position at exactly the right moment. The doctor who called wasn't the surgeon I'd been seeing. He was just the one on duty that day. He didn't know me, but he did understand cancer since he'd already had it, as well. He gave me space to process the news and then explained the type of cancer I had and the prognosis, which he noted was very good. If I had to have cancer, it was a "good" one to have, he said. He wasn't a fortune teller, psychic, or visionary -- just someone who understood from experience and his job.

The next month and a half was filled with appointments and plans. My surgery was scheduled for a few days after my birthday in mid-October.

I won't lie and say I wasn't nervous. But God placed the first verse and refrain from the old hymn, "It Is Well with My Soul," in my head and that helped me through that time. He reminded me of the words and the story behind them. And, because of that, I had a tremendous peace.

From Wikipedia: The hymn was written by Horatio Spafford after many traumatic events in his life. 

The first two were the death of his four-year-old son and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago that was extensively damaged by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873, at which time he had planned to travel to England with his family on the Ville du Havre for D. L. Moody's upcoming evangelistic campaigns. 

In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic Ocean, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Line, and all four of Horatio's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …" 

Shortly afterwards, as Horatio traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

If a man who had lost so much could say that, I, with curable cancer, could repeat the same words. 

Praise God!

Perspectives

My parents always taught us to look at both sides of something. Sometimes that meant playing the "devil's advocate," but it was still an important lesson. Things aren't always one-sided, even if we want -- or hope for -- them to be.

This was an important tool to have in my toolbox when I became a reporter. It's easy to want to make the narrative fit the issue. But is the narrative truth...or at the very least, the whole truth? How much braver to look at an issue and face that it might be different than we wanted -- or hoped.

No one is perfect. Everyone has some skeletons in his/her closet.

A diamond has multiple sides, and the sun hits each side differently, causing a different amount of sparkle and shine and light. Just the same, people have different ways of seeing the world -- or even an event.

None is wrong...just different.

Maybe when we finally realize and grasp this, the world will become a better place?

Maybe.

Agree to Disagree

Editor's note: I've been going through the blog post drafts I have on here, and this is from 2009. Sadly, not much has changed as far as some of our freedoms of speech go. Maybe it's time to change that...

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Some may be offended by this post...if you think you're one of them, don't read this. You have been warned. *wink-grin*

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Shhh. Do you hear it? That's the sound of my soapbox being dragged out....

I have a peeve to pet, an annoyance to air. It's been awhile since I have felt this angry about something...a long time since I have felt so hurt. So bear with my while I vent.

What is happening to real freedom? Freedom of speech (as long as you don't say the "wrong" thing), freedom of thought (as long as your thoughts agree with what's "acceptable"...to be determined by certain people only), freedom of expression (as long as it's exactly the same as everyone else).

Ugh.

Are we becoming sheep? Lemmings? Emperor penguins even? Being all the same and told what to feel and think and do?

I've thought long and hard about the words "conservative" and "liberal," and it's ironic that the people who claim to be them are actually the opposite of the true meanings.

liberal: broad-minded; especially: not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or traditional forms

conservative: tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions: traditional

The liberals are outraged when anyone conservative disagrees with them -- and has the *gasp* gall to do it publicly. How dare they! By not agreeing you are basically telling them they're wrong...even though you may never have uttered those words...or even thought that thought. You just have a difference in opinion...which used to be (I thought) accepted and guaranteed by our Constitution? Where's the "broad-mindedness" in that?

But wait. Isn't that what they claim the conservatives do? Funny how that's what the word conservative means. Thinking in a narrow-minded way...being "intolerant" of other views.

I hate Lily Allen.

Oops. Was that my out-loud voice?

Okay, I said it out loud.

Once upon a time I liked her. A lot. I thought she was cute and fun and different. Now, I think she's an obnoxious "brat" who will one day pay for all she's sowing at this moment. She's using her "fame" to promote some pretty awful things. And why? So that she can be heard? So that she can sway a bunch of people to feel like she does? Have her moment of fame?

But I want to ask her some things.

First: Where do you live?

What gives you the right to have ANY opinion on my country or my country's leaders? Last I'd heard, you live in Great Britain...not the U.S.

Next: What exactly did President Bush do to you personally?

I'm sure you couldn't say. It's just the popular thing to diss a President who actually stood up against the evil that was done to his country...not your country. You didn't then -- still don't -- live here. And would you actually sing that horribly vulgar song to President Bush? (Yes, he is still called President and always will be. Sadly, you won't always be a singer.)

So your country joined in. Be mad at your own country's leaders NOT mine. Those leaders aren't puppets. They have their own wills to do what they deem as best. (Do you even have a full education to understand such thoughts? Doubtful. But I digress...and bow to your level by attacking you personally...)

And then: Was it YOUR country that was attacked on 9/11? Did you have any personal loss from that particular incident?

I did.

It was MY country that was attacked. It was MY countrymen that died, MY parents who lost friends in the Pentagon attack. It was MY children who lost the chance to go inside those buildings and enjoy an American landmark.

Finally: How would you feel if people started putting down your country and your country's leaders and you personally?

Oh, wait. You have no pride of country. You have no real country....not acting like that. You're a lost soul with nothing to hang onto...and that makes me sad.

When we promote hatred, we go a long way in pushing back the efforts of "peace on earth" since such "peace" starts with with a tolerance (from EVERYone) towards each other and each other's thoughts. That's TOLERANCE...not agreement. We can "agree to disagree" and still love one another...still be friends.

Until then, you keep singing such filthy songs, Miss Allen. You keep putting down people with honor who actually stand for something you'll never understand. You'll be the loser...since there's no real peace in your heart, the place that true peace on earth begins.

And remember for every finger you point (whichever one you choose) there are still four more pointing backwards. Look inside and see if this is the "agenda" you really want to push.

Okay. Okay. Soapbox away.

Sigh.

To Like or Not to Like

In a world that's saturated by social media, friendship is cheap.

On Facebook and Twitter, we "collect" friends and followers, even though we may never really speak to or connect with said friends and followers. We just "like" or repost photos and stories and statuses. Or retweet things we think are interesting. Sometimes we post photos in the hopes that they will draw a lot of attention and get lots of "likes" and/or comments. Then we'll feel liked, right?

But is there any real connection?

It's really just a popularity contest. We can choose the "friend of the day" like a person chooses a flavor of ice cream. We also can judge people by what they post. Sometimes, posts even cause feelings of inadequacy and jealousy, most of us forgetting that we can choose to do some of the same things we see or read about -- watch the same movies, read the same books, visit the same restaurants and cafes, save to travel to the same places, be the same patient/loving mother we think our friends are.

It just takes more effort (and money) for some.

Do you remember as a child being in a group of friends and seeing the "odd" girl hanging out on the fringe? Sometimes she was reading a book. Sometimes she was playing by herself. Sometimes she was standing, longing to be included. Do you remember feeling sad for her but hoping that someone else would invite her to join in? Do you remember when you became that "odd" girl and suddenly you understood just how lonely it felt to be on the outside edge of the circle? It made you promise yourself that if you ever made it back into the circle that you would always include any girls on the fringe.

What causes people to pick and choose who they like and don't like? Why do we separate into groups, causing others to feel on the outer edge? It takes effort to include everyone. It takes thought.

Thought.

Sure, we're only human. We can't do everything perfectly, and sometimes we're going to forget to show the kindnesses that we've been shown. But when we do think of others -- include others -- we're doing something different...and we're showing God's love. Two good things.

We can't really choose to like or not like someone. Well, we can...but should we? In a world filled with loneliness and hopelessness, let's try harder to be a friend to everyone.

It'll be worth the effort.

Remembering...

This is one of the best ads I've seen in a long time. Advice to new parents...and good reminders to "old" parents.

Four things you give your kids: Time (give it liberally); education (take it seriously); spirituality (make it real); and love (the others pale in comparison).

Enjoy!

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I am thankful for: God...my husband...my three children...my parents and in-laws...my sisters and their husbands...my brothers-in-law and their wives...my two nephews and one niece...my full-time job as a wife/mom/teacher and my part-time job as a journalist...my plethora of furry family members......a warm, dry house filled with love...sunny days and rainy days...the changing of the seasons, especially autumn and all of its colors...all the yummy food we enjoy...memories -- good and bad...the ability to laugh and cry and smile and frown and feel the emotions of life...tastebuds...coffee and chocolate and caramel...books that absorb me...television characters that make me love them...curiosity and the Internet that helps me to satisfy it...ballet and soccer and fencing and the eyesight to enjoy each...

So much to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving!

"Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God hath done. Count your blessings, count them every one. Count your many blessings, see what God hath done."
~Johnson Oatman Jr., 1897

A Wandering Wonder

You know when you're feeling restless and wanting to do something different in life and then an opportunity comes up and makes you stop dead in your tracks -- in both excitement and fear -- because on one hand it's awesome, the "opportunity of a lifetime," and on the other it's just plain crazy, seemingly stupid, and/or completely nerve-wracking?

No?

Me neither.

Sigh...

Friend or Foe...or Somewhere in Between - Part 3

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold."

We used to sing that when I was a little girl in the Brownies. We would sit in a circle and cross our arms to hold hands with the girls next to us. My mom was one of the leaders, volunteering in the hopes that I would make friends and enjoy Girl Scouts as much as my sisters did. I didn't. And I didn't.

Not because I didn't try. I think it just wasn't meant to be. We moved soon afterwards.

The problem with the above song is that not all "old friends" want to remain friends. People today are temporal. We want to be friends with those who are tangible...right there in our sight.

We've moved from two different churches over the past few decades. We spent 18 years at the one and 12 at the next...and in both cases the people we thought were our close friends dropped us, forgetting us like we never existed.

It's not that they were trying to be mean. We just weren't there anymore. So, out of sight, out of mind...and heart.

It makes a person a little heartsick to think that we meant that much to them.

And it's interesting, given the amount of free social media options out there, that our friendships couldn't keep going. We have email, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, Yahoo! Instant Messenger...etc.

But it takes work to stay in touch. Not everyone has that strength or the stamina. And sometimes we're so busy with our own lives that we forget. (I'm just as guilty as the next person for that.)

Where's that leave me and my little Brownie song?

Pretty much singing alone with my arms crossed and no one's hands to hold.

Maybe it's time to get off the social apps and start again...in person? Find new friends, who like me, need a little silver.

Maybe it will be a silver lining in the clouds.

But how does one go about finding new friends as an adult?  Any ideas or suggestions?

To be continued...

Friend or Foe...or Somewhere in Between - Part 2

So I started on this subject a few weeks ago in this post.

Friendship has always lent itself to some pretty deep pondering...about oneself and about others...at least in my life. Sometimes it's hard to figure out why some people have so many and others seem to have none.

We have mixed feelings about the telephone in our house.

Sometimes we are excited by its ring...and sometimes we are angered...and sometimes it doesn't ring at all.

We love for the phone to ring when its someone we love -- or, for me, when it's a source I've been trying to get in touch with for an article.

We're mad when it's telephone solicitation...or a campaign call...or a wrong number with someone asking for the same people...again.

It's a bit perplexing at times when it's silent, and we realize that the phone doesn't ring for us very often.

My mom has been encouraging us to get to know people and make new friends. She gets very worried about the kids seeming to not have any friends. She doesn't see the effort I've put into helping them find some and how that effort falls flat. If it happens enough times, people finally give up.  I mean, why is the onus always on us to make friends? Why aren't other kids seeking out our kids for playdates?

Phone numbers are exchanged, but no one calls -- on either side.

Sometimes we're told it would be different if our kids went to school.

Hmm... I agree that they would be exposed to more kids, thereby the possibility for friendship goes up, but that doesn't guarantee friends. It seems that people need to be "desirable" to draw friends. I'm guessing we're not.

The kids go to activities -- at church and in our community. We ask the parents/kids to meet up. We get lots of smiles and lots of "sounds great"s. But still the phone never rings...the emails never come, even in response to our calls/emails.

But it's a different world these days -- a world filled with activities of all sorts and electronics of even more sorts. People are busy, busy, busy.  Kids don't play outside anymore.

At least not where we live.

We know. We've "trolled" the neighborhood, looking for someone to meet and get to know and play with. And when kids do play outside, they're not interested in meeting new kids to add to their group of peers. 

No one encourages it either.

We get polite smiles from the adults and wide-eyed stares from the kids. And one look at my kids as we continue to walk, and I know and feel their disappointment.

My point is this:  Friendship is a two-way street. Both sides need to be seeking and working at it for it to work. When just because one side tries and nothing comes of it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them or they aren't trying hard enough. It becomes easy to think that.

Ah, well.  Enough pondering -- and complaining. We'll keep on trying...or perhaps it's time to move?

At least we'd get a new phone number.

To be continued...

One...

It's such a small, yet powerful, number at times...

One germ is all it takes to make a whole family sick with a cold virus.

One cookie is all it takes to win the heart of a toddler.

One stone is all it took for little David to fell giant Goliath.

One mean word is all it takes to cut a person to the core.

One word is all it takes to accept or decline a marriage proposal.

One parent is all it takes to raise kids...and yet...

Two parents support each other, make a tag team of sorts, provide balance.

Two words seal the vows of marriage.

Two words heal the damage of a mean word.

Two stones weren't necessary -- with God involved -- to knock down the giant Goliath.

Two cookies more than win the heart of a toddler and teach the valuable lesson of sharing.

Two germs....two germs....nope. No matter what size family you have, you still only need one germ. But two is what you get when it divides itself...and two more...and two more...

Stupid cold virus.

Smelling the Roses...

I don't know if it's that I'm aging...or if it's a build up of busyness that fills our lives, but I have the overwhelming urge to stop and smell the roses (really smell them!), lay in the grass and stare at the clouds, sit in the sunshine and eat a Popsicle while telling jokes.

..just think about anything -- and nothing -- letting my cares go free for a moment or two...or three...

I was driving down the road the other day, and I spotted the most beautiful end-of-the-day cloud formation. It was pink and wispy, soft, and between it and the song I was listening to, it conjured up a dreamy feeling in my head, reminding me to "stop to smell the roses."

I remember a song when I was little -- maybe in kindergarten -- that was a part of a listening game. You had dance around like crazy while the song played and then, without knowing when, you would hear someone shout: STOP! and the music would stop and you would have to freeze. It was fun and a great tool in teaching the art of listening.

But, more than that, it encouraged the idea of just stopping...in all the energy and activity of the song, just ceasing to move for a moment.

That sunset reminded me of that song. It implored me to: STOP! and actually enjoy it.

Sometimes in the busyness of our lives -- school, work, chores -- we feel like we're dancing the crazy dance, trying to keep up with it all, trying to bring some saneness to the busyness around us by constantly moving with the tide of life.

And then, like in the song, something -- or someone -- shouts: STOP!

Are we listening?