"I wear my heart on my sleeve,
I'm not afraid to say what I mean,
Mean what I say.
I set myself up, let myself down,
I may be a fool to spread it around.
But I just wanna let you know,
Sometimes I find it so hard not to show,
So I sigh and I let my feelings go."
~Ringo Starr
There are times in a mother's life when she wants to take her kids and wrap them in cotton and rock them close to her heart to protect them from the harshness of the world.
I have to say that today I experienced one of those times.
Why is it when you watch your children from afar, they seem so close-up, like you're right next to them, experiencing what they're experiencing?
Perhaps because they dwelled safely inside you for nine months and you bonded? And then suddenly they're out, and you can no longer protect them so completely? I always think that having a child is like having a piece of your own heart walking around in the world.
I
We've been watching for about two years as our daughter has struggled to sprout her pre-adolescent wings and enter this new phase of her life with girls of her own age...and it's been painful at times.
Why do some girls seem to glide into this phase, while others bump and cough along like a rickety old car about to spring a leak in its radiator? And why is it that the ones who glide are often the ones who throw rocks or dig potholes for the other type of girl to rumble into?
I've tried to put myself on both sides of the equation, to make sure I'm not being completely partial to my daughter.
But when you watch her being excluded from activities time and again, or being ignored or taunted by the other girls... you begin to feel that urge to cotton-wool her again...or kick some "little-girl" butt...
Ahem...
It's like my dad used to warn me: Be careful not to wear your heart on your sleeve.
But I thought that saying had to do with boys... I never realized it would apply to having children, too.
As always, easier said than done, Dad.
2 comments:
I think the ones who get there sooner get a feeling they've "arrived" and don't have any more growing to do. So they stop. They're the cool kids in middle school, and in high school, and beyond. The world revolves around them, so why should they change? But those who come along later see the mistakes made by those ahead of them and avoid those.
As I keep in touch with a few friends from the various schools I attended, it seems like it was the late-bloomers went the farthest. I remember "The stone discarded by the builders becomes the capstone of the arch." What activities is she excluded from?
Thinking of you tonight...
Wow. So I see it doesn't get better does it? I agree with what Elizabeth has stated above--and I would add that although we might feel the pain and want to take it away from them at every turn--that somehow, in some way,..God has his special plan for that child. A plan that includes withstanding such cruelty from others and gaining empathy for those in similar positions. This is what I keep trying to tell my own daughter. Although I sometimes find it hard to digest myself as I see her teary-eyed face. Then I remember a certain Someone who withstood much cruelty and hatred from others,..and still begged his father to forgive them "for they know not what they do". All we can do is love them like no one else can. God Bless--and thanks for directing me here.
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