Peace

Sweet baby feet

There's a song that plays at the end of Ethan's instrumental bedtime lullaby CD that is so peaceful and sweet that I find myself nearly crying each time I hear it play over the monitor. It conjures up so many memories of when all three of my children were much smaller, and life seemed simpler.

I know. I know. Those of you with smaller children do not think that life feels simpler.

But maybe it's because I feel like I've crossed the Rubicon with my older two munchkins, and life has become decidedly more "hands-off" in some ways. Somehow that happens when they reach "double digits."

Not that they don't still enjoy a cuddle or two...or three. But they're definitely their own people, marching ever closer to college and work...and independence.... And with that comes planning and worrying and learning...and dealing with new emotions...and...and...

When they were small, life's routine had a cadence of sorts. The beat of the day moved with feeding times and diaper changes. There were storytimes and naptimes and cuddletimes and outside playtimes. To some it might have seemed mundane, but there was a peace in it -- a sense of wellness that came in knowing that everything was under control.

Now, there is just running here and there from school to activity to chores to bed. No more quiet reading times. Very few walks to the library or park. Everything must be very deliberate, planned or else missed.

Sigh.

And yet, for the moment, I will listen...and remember...the peace.