Every now and again, I look around me and think: Wow!
I don't know if it's because this isn't exactly how I pictured grownup life when I was a little girl...or because I have three children that are mine...or that occasionally I remember life in the past.
And then, despite any fleeting thoughts, I always realize that I wouldn't change a thing.
I don't think you can picture something you've never experienced without having it skewed by books or television shows or movies.
I think I imagined going to a neighbor's house to borrow a cup of sugar or two eggs or something. (Not that I know why I would need to borrow such things.) And having children who sat and colored, read books, played hopscotch and four-square, climbed trees, rode their bikes around the neighborhood...and went to school on a big yellow schoolbus.
I didn't imagine homeschooling...I didn't think about computers...I didn't know about trucks or diggers or jetplanes. I guess I thought I'd have a gaggle of girls. (Praise God, I don't. *wink-grin*) And I certainly never understood my need for a minivan.
I was sitting outside tonight, watching my boys play in the backyard. Stuart was off at dance class with Emily. I looked at them and couldn't remember life without them...and for a brief moment, I thought of how they -- along with Emily -- complete me.
You see, I used to look for that solely in friendships...or my job...or my things. Now I know I don't need much of anything else. I'm content to live in our little house with my husband and "gang" of three kids.
At that moment, I wished away all the other distractions I've been feeling. I wished away all the money woes and scheduling conflicts and school stresses.
All I wanted was them. In our little house. Coloring in our coloring books. Reading books together. And then finding a tree or two to climb. Nothing else is needed.
A surreal -- but very real -- moment.