Who Am I?

So the phones rings the other day just as I begin making lunch. Not a problem. Balance the phone on the shoulder, keep making sandwiches.

It says "private" on the Caller ID, which means it's probably some form of solicitation.

*grrrr*

I sigh and decide to answer it. Big mistake.

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

"Hello?"

On my third(!) hello, I finally hear someone come on the other end.

In a very chirpy voice, she says, "Hi! This is [insert name here because I'd turned off by this point] from [insert organization here because I was still turned off]. We're calling--"

I interrupt at this point because we have a policy in our home to tell any kind of solicitors that we are NOT interested.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we don't accept any kind of solicitation, surveys, charities. Please take us off your list."

(This is where I found myself incredulous, but I had to give the woman an "A" for effort...)

"Oh," she says, her voice still very sugar-sweet, "The government has determined that we aren't considered solicitation--"

Okay. Okay. At another point in the month, this woman may have found a more receptive person on the other end of the phone, but, funny enough, she'd simply hit me on the "wrong day/wrong time."

So I go at her....

Hey, last time I checked I'm a woman. And guess what? I'm NOT the government. You're talking to me, and I determine that you're a solicitation and don't want to talk to you or hear your litany of charitable causes...because, frankly, I'm busy making lunch and having a horrible, hormonal day....and I'm NOT the government.

Growl...snort...puff.

I am woman....hear me ROAR!

Sorry, chirpy chick....perhaps you want to call on another day?

On, say, February 33?