Crash Test Dummy

I guess I've been somewhat blessed by very few computer woes.

And until today, I considered myself somewhat computer savvy -- I was dubbed "Cyber Sue" at my newspaper job. But technology is changing much faster than my brain can handle....as was evidenced by the "death" of our DSL modem this morning and my complete helplessness at getting it running again.

Last night, in an effort to thwart some spyware that I knew had somehow wormed its way onto my computer causing the hard drive to constantly run, I got the bright idea to turn off my DSL modem. A very innocent gesture, I thought....until I turned it back on a half hour later.

Nothing.

My little Yahoo! Messenger smiley-face slept on in complete grayness.

So I tried again.

Nothing.

I got a loud "dong" and an error message that said I was not connected. No problem. I'd sort it out in the morning.

Sleep didn't help my modem to feel any better...I still had "no connectivity."

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, except we do our school online. I knew we could miss a day or two...but I could see it stretching out longer.

Okay, okay, I told myself. I'll just head out to the local store and pick up another one. Like the time my dial-up modem got fried by an electrical storm. Plug and play, right?

Wrong.

After the sales consultant at BestBuy tried very sweetly to talk me out of buying the only DSL modem compatible with Verizon (insert several "grrrrs" here) since it was a "piece of junk," I was in a quandary. I asked him why he felt that way, and he said a friend had one and found it very limiting...like, he couldn't change his IP address, etc. Hmmmm.....not something I'm likely to care about, right?

I was feeling a bit desperate by this point. I knew I could go back to dial-up briefly until I could further troubleshoot my current DSL modem...but I'd already wasted an entire morning...and as the sales consultant went on to say, "It's probably dead. They don't last more than 3 years."

He suggested I go online to try to find another kind of DSL modem compatible with Verizon. He shook my hand, wished me luck, and left to find another customer to help.

While he had his back turned, I snatched one of the modems and fled to the checkouts.

So at home I took out the new modem/router and began to set it up. I followed the directions to the letter (which will, no doubt, please my hubby immensely) and got to the end when I was to click on the "Go to the Internet Now" button and.....nothing!

I tried again.

Nothing.

Ugh! I was feeling frustrated. I began to look around for telephone wires to hook up our school computer to one of the preloaded dial-up services it had on it. No soap. I found one but needed two to connect it to the remote telephone jack we need to use since our 90-year-old house doesn't have telephone access upstairs. To say this was getting complicated is putting it mildly.

Then I decided to look in my original Verizon DSL paperwork for a phone number to get, gulp...help.

And help he did. The Verizon Online technician helped me troubleshoot and set up my network -- even making it secure.

Yes!! I was back online!

How do I spell relief? V-E-R-I-Z-O-N.

I wish I'd taken down the technician's name....so I could send him a note. I know he could hear the relief in my voice as I thanked him over and over. I even heard him chuckle a bit.

It must be one of the rewards of his job: helping a "dummy" like me.

Now, if I could only get him to come and help me clean off my computer desk....