(In)Convenient Friendships

A funny (ironic, not humorous) thing happened when technology began to explode more than a decade ago.

Yes, the Internet was born. And the Worldwide Web was spun. And music and videos could suddenly be "streamed" instantly. And Instant Messaging became the "in" thing (along with writing in all lowercase without any need for punctuation or spelling *wink-grin*).

But with all these technological advances came a blight -- a horrible disease which is permeating our culture and causing a lot of pain.

Because with this technology came convenience and anonymity...and selfishness.

Call waiting. Instant messaging. E-mail. Answering machines. Voicemail. Message boards.

So now you can screen your friends' calls; ignore their IMs and e-mails until you feel like answering them; wait for a message on your answering machine or voicemail to see if what they need is important enough; and leave a nasty no-name-needed comment on a message board......all from the convenience of the computer.

No feelings needed...no feelings considered.

Ain't technology grand?

Hmm...

Where's the friendship in all that?

We can have a "buddy list" on our computer with lots of long-distance friends who are there when we want them. Nice and convenient, huh?

But what happens when someone is hurting? When someone is reaching out with a need? How can we ever really know?

I've thought a lot about the recent murder-suicide deaths of the Wood family. While I don't condone (in the slightest) the actions the husband took, I understand them.

People left comments on different forums about how he (the husband) should have "reached out"..."gotten help"..."swallowed his pride and admitted his problems."

What if he did? What if he reached out and nobody was there, nobody listened? What if his wife was too busy on her blog or with her involvements with the kids? I'm not saying she was -- in fact, I'm not offering an opinion at all on anything to do with the causes of this, except to point out that hopelessness has grown in our society not because of a lack of money or time or resources....but in part because of a lack of camaraderie...and true friendship...and truly being there for people.

Ask yourself: If so-and-so died how would it affect me? Would I be sad for a little while and move on?

Life moves incredibly fast. Take time now to invest in someone, really be there for them.

I promise you, it's can be hard, but it's worth it.

There's no such thing as "instant friends" that pop up in a window and can be closed from a computer taskbar. Even when we read a friend's status does not mean we understand what's really happening in his/her life. That can only happen with real contact...even when it's not really convenient.

"Friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." ~George Washington