Optimal Optimism

I realized I have a fault.

Okay, okay. I realize I have many of them, but this one could cause me to be offensive and might even backfire, causing confusion of my intentions at a given moment.

I realized that I'm the eternal optimist.

While that in and of itself is not really a bad personality trait...I can see how it might be frustrating to others.

Hmmm...

I'm having a hard time understanding the continued sadness about Kiefer's jailtime. Well, I guess I'm not having a hard time with that, per se (it certainly makes me sad for him, too), but I'm in my "get on with it" mode...knowing that he'll be okay and come out a better man...

Then I started to ponder that "mode" and began to see a pattern in my life....

I spent the better part of my childhood moving around the country with my family. Before I was born, my father was in the Navy so he and the rest of the family moved as a result of that. Somehow that became a way of life for him so that even after he wasn't in the Navy anymore, we still moved around.

I hated it. I mean really, truly despised it.

It meant that a very shy and timid little girl had to get to know a whole new group of friends, a whole new house, a whole new school, a whole new area....

As a result I grew very insecure and clung to my mom.

But human nature says we have to look for something good in every situation, right? Find the silver lining in the cloud, so to speak. Or at least try.

So because I couldn't change the situation or stop the move, I'd try to find something good about it instead.

Maybe I'd finally meet a bosom buddy? Maybe my new school would be nicer? Maybe we'd see some fun and exciting places?

And I knew I'd always have my family with me, no matter where we moved.

So when Stuart and I "dated" overseas for over four years and saw each other only a few times a year, I learned how to handle the times in between. I just looked for something positive and clung to that.

After we parted ways, I'd smile a watery smile and begin the countdown again until the next visit. (I think it both annoyed and amazed him.) I learned to keep myself busy and not dwell on the sad part of it all...

It was a God-given knack that later got me through six years of his travelling with his job and countless other trials.

So thinking about it now, I guess it's okay for me to be an optimist. I guess it's what helps me "get by."

But, while it's a survival technique for me, I realize it doesn't work for everyone.

And that's okay, too.

Sometimes you have to be allowed to cry in your beer....