Wordless Wednesday

A Funny Little Thing Called...Life

There's a thing to understand about life...and that thing is that life is not always understandable.

Curve balls can be -- and often are -- thrown at any moment, without warning. We may think that we have everything all planned out and moving along like our favorite movie's storyline....but it doesn't always work that way. (Wouldn't you love to have an umpire shout about the "next batter"?)

And then there's the comparison trap. We look around at friends, neighbors, movie stars/singers, and even strangers and think that they have it all together. They're so much more successful than us. Their lives are moving along swimmingly, like our favorite movie's storyline. So why aren't ours?

Because those people don't exist.

Hang on a moment. They don't exist?

Huh?

Stay with me.

They don't exist -- not in the realm of our own true reality. They don't live with us, right? We can't look into their houses or apartments or work spaces, like a little child playing with a dollhouse, right?

And while, in truth, their reality is exactly the same as ours, filled with curve balls that throw them off course and create bubbles of confusion, frustration, and envy, they aren't here.

Of course, in realness they are. They are every bit as real as you and me. If they came to visit, they would eat and drink and talk and laugh the same as we do.

But when they're not with us? Who knows. Maybe they're just cardboard cutouts made to keep us in comparison confusion, virtual reality to look like they're there. They aren't living with us. They are people we hear about on the news or read stories from on Facebook...so how do we really know? And why do we really need to know?

Like the Schrodinger's cat experiment, they might be there...they might not. And in the spirit of getting on with our own lives, who cares?

I'm not saying we shouldn't care for or about each other -- that's another blog post (and probably one that I've already blogged about lots in the past). I'm saying we shouldn't care about what each of us is or isn't doing.

Because, if you think about it, everyone is struggling in his or her own way. Everyone feels down at some point. Not everything is "great" in a person's life, just because he or she has money, a good job, a seemingly fantastic spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, sweet, obedient, and talented children or pets.

We're so focused on others and how they are doing in their lives that we forget our own lives.We need to leave behind the "what ifs" and "if onlys" and get to what is.

Enjoy your own job. Have fun with your own kids or pets, Love your own significant other. Worry about your own finances and feel blessed with what you have.

And when you have a curve ball thrown at you? Pray. And, in doing so, remember to pray for others who also face curve balls.

In the big scheme of things, everything else is just fluff.

==============

What are your thoughts? How do we get off the comparison train that seems to derail us in life?

A Decadent Decade

Has it really been 10 years since I posted my first blog post on here?

10. Whole. Years. ???

Wow!

That's so amazing. When I started, I thought that blogging was more of a vanity thing. Like journaling for the world to see. Then I realized it was a good way to keep track of stuff -- happenings, memories, accomplishments, milestones.

And, while I haven't been able to stay completely faithful in writing on here, I have enjoyed it. It's fun to muse and remember and ruminate on the stuff bouncing around my head.

And it's even more fun to go back and reread the happenings of the past 10 years, memories I might have forgotten without this little blog-thing.

So here's to -- hopefully -- 10 more years?

Thanks for reading!

Issues of the Day

Recently, I was reading a few reviews about some middle-grade books that are new on the market. The reviewers raved about how EVERYone should read these books...and how they wished they'd been around when they were young...and how it would have "helped" them through some tough issues they'd faced. The books in question were about the death of a parent.

Hmmm...

The popular notion at the moment is to write stories for middle school kids about tough issues facing them. We want them to be prepared and know how to face and handle complex issues...some of which we're not even comfortable facing or handling. BUT, they will know how.

Because?

Because they read about a girl in a book who faced that very same issue and saw how she handled it -- nevermind that the issue might be one some kids will never face or have to handle. Let's stress them out some more. Because, after all, if they don't know how to handle every issue that might come their way, they'll flounder.

What if they never even knew about certain issues? Would it really hurt them?

I write all of this tongue-in-cheek, of course.

I'm reminded of something we were taught in our prenatal parenting sessions. "Dress the baby for the weather, not based on what you're feeling."

So you, as an adult, think a story about a boy facing the death of his mother and learning how to deal with it and let go is a good thing. Because you're an adult and know how to handle such things. And a kid, of 9, 10, 11, should be able to handle it, too? How can you (with adult eyes) truly see it through the eyes of young person again?

We are doing our kids a disservice when we give them issues that are way too old and mature and complex for them to really need to think about. What happened to reading for entertainment? For pleasure? For a nice story about a nice family in a nice setting with happy thoughts?

Sure, life is definitely not always nice, but don't we all inherently know that without having to be reminded in books and television shows and movies?

Middle-grade readers read alone. They sit in their room or on the bus or in the library or on a blanket in the grass and read...and they take in all they are reading...alone. Those thoughts and ideas swirl around in their heads. They try to make sense of them. They try to handle the complex ideas of divorce and death and sex and relationships -- way before they need to -- alone. Certainly, some kids will chat with their parents about their reading materials. (Or, worse, with friends who are also just as uncertain.)

But, com'on, let's be honest. How many of us adults really take the proper amount of time to talk "lit" with our kids, to philosophy and mull over and exchange thoughts about what's being read, what the author might have meant, what the subject is about? How many have time? How many want to take time?

We're all too busy. And, heck, if the kids are reading, that's a good thing, right?

Wrong.

Reading for pleasure is an awesome thing. I'm a huge lover (and collector...see this post) of all things books. I worked for a publishing house, and I'm currently a newspaper correspondent. I love stories! I love the idea of reading and teaching it and teaching the love of it.

But what if the materials are unnecessarily too complex and stressful for our kids? What if we take a step back and say, "I love this book and what it's talking about...now...when I get it...knowing what I know at this moment."

What if ideas and concepts that are too big for our kids are putting unneeded worries and stress in their lives? What if they don't always need to know about certain problems until (and unless) they actually face them? What if we save such materials for then? So they know they're not alone...instead of making them worry "what if"s all the time?

When I was 10, my parents gave me a book of stories about kids and their struggles. One of the stories dealt with a girl whose parents divorced. I hadn't really heard much about divorce. I knew that my mom's parents (my grandparents) had divorced, but it didn't occur to me that someone my age could have divorced parents. The girl had to live a few days at a time at each parent's house, trying to figure out which to love each time. I worried myself sick over that story. I thought my parents would divorce, and I would be forced to choose, and that sickened my heart. Why did I really need to read that? So I'd be prepared? My parents will be married 55 years this June...it really wasn't an issue I needed to read about at 10. I would have learned in the years that followed more about divorce and kids having to spend their time split between their parents' homes...but I would have been more mature and less likely to fret so much.

Let's try to remember that children are young for such a short amount of time. There's no need to rush them into reading about the "issues" of the day. Let's let them stay innocent. And why not? We all know that time and life will change that.

Until then, keep these newer middle-grade books away and bring them out for the kids who need them...when they need them.

**********

What do you think? Is this an issue you faced as a child? What books do you remember reading that you felt too young for? 

Wordless Wednesday

15 Sweet Valentines

For some Valentine's Day is just another Hallmark occasion...a time to buy the clichéd cards and chocolates and express the stereotypical sayings about love.

For me, it's another occasion to praise God for the precious Valentine He gave me in 2001.

Happiest 15th Birthday

to our fantastically funny and gorgeously handsome son,

Edward Stuart!!

View on Flipagram

Wordless Wednesday

A Year in Review: 2015

In past years, I've gone through my photos and posted a photo or two from each month to try to remember what went on throughout the year. This year, I decided to choose photos and do a Flipagram with them.

Here for your viewing pleasure:

View on Flipagram