Issues of the Day

Recently, I was reading a few reviews about some middle-grade books that are new on the market. The reviewers raved about how EVERYone should read these books...and how they wished they'd been around when they were young...and how it would have "helped" them through some tough issues they'd faced. The books in question were about the death of a parent.

Hmmm...

The popular notion at the moment is to write stories for middle school kids about tough issues facing them. We want them to be prepared and know how to face and handle complex issues...some of which we're not even comfortable facing or handling. BUT, they will know how.

Because?

Because they read about a girl in a book who faced that very same issue and saw how she handled it -- nevermind that the issue might be one some kids will never face or have to handle. Let's stress them out some more. Because, after all, if they don't know how to handle every issue that might come their way, they'll flounder.

What if they never even knew about certain issues? Would it really hurt them?

I write all of this tongue-in-cheek, of course.

I'm reminded of something we were taught in our prenatal parenting sessions. "Dress the baby for the weather, not based on what you're feeling."

So you, as an adult, think a story about a boy facing the death of his mother and learning how to deal with it and let go is a good thing. Because you're an adult and know how to handle such things. And a kid, of 9, 10, 11, should be able to handle it, too? How can you (with adult eyes) truly see it through the eyes of young person again?

We are doing our kids a disservice when we give them issues that are way too old and mature and complex for them to really need to think about. What happened to reading for entertainment? For pleasure? For a nice story about a nice family in a nice setting with happy thoughts?

Sure, life is definitely not always nice, but don't we all inherently know that without having to be reminded in books and television shows and movies?

Middle-grade readers read alone. They sit in their room or on the bus or in the library or on a blanket in the grass and read...and they take in all they are reading...alone. Those thoughts and ideas swirl around in their heads. They try to make sense of them. They try to handle the complex ideas of divorce and death and sex and relationships -- way before they need to -- alone. Certainly, some kids will chat with their parents about their reading materials. (Or, worse, with friends who are also just as uncertain.)

But, com'on, let's be honest. How many of us adults really take the proper amount of time to talk "lit" with our kids, to philosophy and mull over and exchange thoughts about what's being read, what the author might have meant, what the subject is about? How many have time? How many want to take time?

We're all too busy. And, heck, if the kids are reading, that's a good thing, right?

Wrong.

Reading for pleasure is an awesome thing. I'm a huge lover (and collector...see this post) of all things books. I worked for a publishing house, and I'm currently a newspaper correspondent. I love stories! I love the idea of reading and teaching it and teaching the love of it.

But what if the materials are unnecessarily too complex and stressful for our kids? What if we take a step back and say, "I love this book and what it's talking about...now...when I get it...knowing what I know at this moment."

What if ideas and concepts that are too big for our kids are putting unneeded worries and stress in their lives? What if they don't always need to know about certain problems until (and unless) they actually face them? What if we save such materials for then? So they know they're not alone...instead of making them worry "what if"s all the time?

When I was 10, my parents gave me a book of stories about kids and their struggles. One of the stories dealt with a girl whose parents divorced. I hadn't really heard much about divorce. I knew that my mom's parents (my grandparents) had divorced, but it didn't occur to me that someone my age could have divorced parents. The girl had to live a few days at a time at each parent's house, trying to figure out which to love each time. I worried myself sick over that story. I thought my parents would divorce, and I would be forced to choose, and that sickened my heart. Why did I really need to read that? So I'd be prepared? My parents will be married 55 years this June...it really wasn't an issue I needed to read about at 10. I would have learned in the years that followed more about divorce and kids having to spend their time split between their parents' homes...but I would have been more mature and less likely to fret so much.

Let's try to remember that children are young for such a short amount of time. There's no need to rush them into reading about the "issues" of the day. Let's let them stay innocent. And why not? We all know that time and life will change that.

Until then, keep these newer middle-grade books away and bring them out for the kids who need them...when they need them.

**********

What do you think? Is this an issue you faced as a child? What books do you remember reading that you felt too young for? 

Silly Ol' Pooh Bear

Last year, Ethan and I read A. A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh for school. We fell in love with all the characters and Milne's fantastic sense of humor.

More than that, we loved the imagination and charm that filled the book. We loved it so much that we had to immediately find the sequel The House at Pooh Corner and devour it as soon as it arrived.

I love sharing good books with our kids. I love reading the words, letting the rhythm and song fall on our ears. I especially love when the older kids listen surreptitiously from another room. This time they just came and joined us. Everyone was very excited every time I announced it was time to read again.

Ethan turned six last September. Can you guess the favorite book he got for his birthday?

Now We Are Six. 

And it's a definite favorite, judging by the number of times we've read and reread it.

Wordless Wednesday

Pagoda Day! Pagoda Day!

Pagoda Day 2014!

In our family, we like to be goofy, enjoy silliness, and make memories.

Pagoda Day is a good one for that.

It was started by our 13-year-old son, Edward, when he was 3 years old. He wanted something that would celebrate the awesomeness of the Pagoda, a local landmark in the Reading area. He planned it out with Emily, complete with a date and musical theme song. We played along but kept saying it was "too far away" and "maybe we'd go there one day"...and then we surprised them after dinner on their chosen date by driving up Mt. Penn to see it up close and personal -- and to take a family photo.

As you can see here and here and here and here, it has become something of an annual tradition (sadly, not always blogged about).

So on this our 11th Pagoda Day, we extend to you a warm and fun Happy Pagoda Day!

What kind of silly and fun family traditions do you celebrate?

Wordless Wednesday

Saturday Sweethearts

I'm so thankful for how much my children love each other. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments of wanting to strangle each other, too. (Sometimes more often than we parents would like.) But it isn't unusual for them to find something fun to do together.

Here are my boys this morning, reading together from a pile of books I discovered on a shelf under our coffee table. They spent another half-hour reading more of them together.

Relaxing mornings. Amusing books. Brotherly love. Three perfect ingredients for a Saturday Sweethearts post.

Of Time and Books and Love

I love books. I've always loved books. I think that's what drew me into writing at a very young age.

Growing up, we always had a ton of books in our house, and my mom was a great believer in going to the library for more. One year when I was a kid, we even spent a rainy day on our beach vacation at the local library.

I love the way books smell and feel and, well, everything about them.

I'm especially fond of children's books. I started collecting them when I was a kid myself. So it was a huge thrill, years ago, to work for Boyd's Mills Press, the book publishing arm of Highlights for Children. I got to see the process of publishing children's books up close and personal.

As time moved on, however, and babies appeared on the scene, my patience level waned for reading anything longer than a board book. I had a stack of books that I wanted to read...but never seemed to have the stamina to do it.

Once the older two kids became more self-sufficient, though, I began to read again...a bit. Then another little one arrived and my reading level dropped to the point of merely reading the front and back covers of books I hoped to one day have the energy to read.

And so the stack grew taller, until I finally decided that I'm a "collector" of books. As a collector, I have the option of reading or not reading the books I have on my shelves, right?

Somehow that relieves some of the guilt I've been feeling in having all these fun books and not reading them -- yet.

Works for me, especially since I still love books -- to collect and (hopefully) read. *wink-grin*