Courting Silliness

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT IN COURT:

Trial lawyers are only after the truth, but some questions they ask are bizarre, as are some of the responses of the witnesses.

Attorney: Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?
Witness: Not mine.

A "Duh" Moment?

Go directly to jail...do not pass "Go," or collect $200...

Incompetent Criminals

Glenda asked Terry if the seat next to her in the classroom was taken. It's not an intimidating question, but Terry went ballistic and threatened to shoot Glenda. She then stormed from the classroom, broke a display case in the school lobby, and damaged a door. Terry was arrested for intimidation and criminal mischief, but the cops had a tough time subduing her and had to use restraints.

The class she was taking?

Anger management.

You Don't Say...

From Stuart's daily calendar:

Attorneys and witnesses can say some strange things when they get into court and the trial has started. For example:

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's 20.

ATTORNEY: The date of your baby's conception was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh...

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

Much More Monday Musings

Well, I've been a bit lax in my postings on here lately....kind of hit a "blog bog," so to speak.

Still, it's Monday, and I've been musing, so I'll share a few tidbits here.

* * *

I changed my video to honor our Valentine, Edward Stuart -- plus, I love Jim Brickman's music!!

Edward will be 6 on the holiday this year. 6. Hard to believe. He said he'll take the presents but keep the number 5...I think 6 is growing on him.

* * *

From my online daily calendar:

5 THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT

• Abraham Lincoln’s speeches

• folding origami

• a great pianist’s hands

• smiling train conductors

• a creative breakthrough

* * *

Wisdom from a soon-to-be-6-year-old:

Flies do not smell good. And they don't eat brownies.

* * *

Been there; done this:

Still More Monday Musings

"Monday, Monday. La-laaa La-la-la-laaaa. So good to me. La-laaa La-la-la-laaaa."

New week, new video, new quiz....new episode of 24...




Lots of fun, new stuff here at "Writer's Block."

Wow.

* * *

Moving right along....

The temperatures have hit sub-zero here in W. City. We put the outside bunnies, Bonny and Clyde, in the basement until it "warms" up...or at least until it begins to feel more Winterish and less Arctic-ish.

Poor little rabbits were desperate for water. Everytime we'd thaw their water bottles, they'd only get a few swigs before the bottles froze again. The inside bunnies don't know what a cushy life they have.

A good day to do LOTS of baking, methinks....perhaps that'll warm the house a bit. One can only hope...and you can never have too many yummy baked goodies around, right? Well....

* * *

Today is my nephew's 13th birthday. Happy Birthday, Erik! Hard to believe...always hard to believe...

* * *

From my online daily calendar:

5 THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT

• a toaster as shiny as a mirror (with brown smudges that won't come off)

• the miracle of Velcro (excellent!)

• a good sense of humor (we've got kids, right?)

• Super Bowl (Ad) fanatics (caught the highlights...perfect)

• peach gelato (Mmmmm-hmmmmm!)

* * *

I chose this week's video with my daughter in mind.

She's been taking ballet for seven years now and dreams of being a professional dancer one day.

It's funny watching our little ones as they grow and mature. You remember all the silly, "cute" things they said and did as babies, toddlers, preschoolers...and forget they're still saying/doing them.

We actually started Emily in dance class at 2 because she danced everywhere (still does...so maybe that didn't work). What better place to release this dancing urge/energy than in dance class?

But there's another kind of dancing that I want to keep encouraging her to do...and that's the dance of "being herself" and dreaming big dreams. We all seem to worry about who we are based on what others see in us...you know, what we wear, what we know, what we do...etc. And those worries start so young these days.

I love this video because the singer is encouraging her daughter to dance -- keep on -- despite what others think of her. No matter, just keep on dancing.

That's a hard lesson to grasp...especially at 9 years old.

So this song is for you, Emily. I do hope you dance!

Hope you never lose your sense of wonder,

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,

May you never take one single breath for granted,

God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed,

I hope you still feel small

When you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes

I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter,

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,

Tell me who wants to look back on their years

And wonder where those years have gone?)

I hope you still feel small

When you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes

I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along

Tell me who wants to look back

On their years and wonder

Where those years have gone?)

More Monday Musings

A very frigid day here in W. City. Time for some more Monday Musings.

* * *

January is winding down. Hard to believe, huh? The year feels like it's whizzing by. And harder still to believe ol' chub-cheeks (above) is going to be 6 on Valentine's Day! Egads! Where does the time go??

* * *

I finally sent out one of my children's stories for consideration at a magazine publisher. I haven't done that since I lived in England. It's such a time-consuming process, I guess I just gave up, knowing that I enjoy writing no matter what happens. I'll let you know how it goes...when I hear back in 6 months.

* * *

In honor of my hubby -- who still isn't feeling well today -- I've decided to include some of the haikus he and his co-workers have written to alleviate the monotony.

In honor of a helpline:

This code had no price.
It has now been updated.
You may quote it now.

~S. A. Foote

In honor of another co-worker's new baby born today:

Dave had a baby.
She is not named Jorgina.
There will be diapers.

~K. Coldren

In honor of tonight's 24 show:

Today is Monday.
Jack Bauer is on TV.
Will he shoot a thigh?

~K. Coldren

* * *

Note the new quiz on the side. I had a hard time fitting it in the template...so forgive the odd shape of my results. You can click on the link at the bottom of it to see "what kind of dog" you might be.

* * *

From my online daily calendar:

5 THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT

• a dramatic sunrise

• Post-it Notes

• a clever turn of phrase

• vintage tractors

• the bridges in Japanese gardens

* * *

I haven't seen that many sunrises in my lifetime...though it is my very, very favorite-most time of the day when most of the world is still sleeping and there's a "hush" over everything.

Just before I moved home to Swindon from Brighton, Stuart and I tried to see the sun rise at Beachy Head, the high cliff-like point on the coast of England. We called the local weather line and listened to hear what time it would occur... He picked me up from my flat around 4:30 a.m. when it was still rather dusky outside, and we headed out. When we got there it was foggy and cloudy. We waited for about an hour...but we never actually saw the sun.

In August of 1994, we went to Europe to travel around the countries and spend some time together. Our first stop was Cherbourg, France. We took the overnight ferry across from Southampton, England. I had asked Stuart if we could go to one of the beaches in Normandy since it was the 50th Anniversary of D-Day. We arrived at Omaha Beach, just as the sun rose above the horizon over the beach. It was haunting...especially when I envisioned the soldiers coming ashore where I stood some 50 years earlier.

Monday Musings

It's Monday.

Time to begin a new week, do laundry, clean up from the weekend, and change the video on my blog.

* * *

I've become a huge fan of Jude Cole -- my kids like him, too, and refer to him as "Jude the Dude" -- so I was really excited to find this week's music video on Webrats.

Silly, really, I guess.

I discovered him through my interest in Kiefer Sutherland and Rocco Deluca and Ironworks Music. Now, I enjoy listening to his albums over and over. Because of my interest in him, I discovered Lifehouse, the group I had a video from last week.

Amazing little web of interest, huh?

* * *

I loved today's online calendar page:

5 THINGS TO BE HAPPY ABOUT

• tea and toast
• reading a historical document
• the zen of an aquarium
• sticking to a workout plan
• real flowers on the kitchen table

* * *

On a different note, I really enjoyed -- despite a raging sinus headache! Timing, huh? -- last night's 2-hour premiere of 24. Tons of great scenes, bringing back old characters and introducing new ones. Very edge-of-your-seat, as usual.

My favorite line was: "Drop the coffee!"

Classic Jack Bauer!

Despite the fact that Jack is still a "Weeble" fueled by adrenalin, we look forward to watching the next 2 hours of his life tonight.

* * *

Excuse me while I go take some Tylenol and a nap...

Gotta gear up!

I haven't learned how to "weeble" yet.