Here's a Tip

Something to think about today…and I hope this goes viral. 

If you use a service like DoorDash, UberEats, Shipt, Instacart, etc., remember to TIP your delivery person. You aren’t using a service to save money…you are choosing it to save time. BUT you are taking someone else’s time – and gas; someone who is acting as your personal shopper or food deliverer. 

 

Yes, it’s a job. But the pay is paltry – not unlike wait staff in restaurant and hair stylists – and it still takes time, especially if that person tries their very hardest to do their best. Ten percent is a good starting point. Reward more for exceptionality.

 

I get it. I was a terrible tipper. I assumed that they made a decent wage (Google will tell you they do, but the pay formula is built on the assumption that they get tipped), and that they didn’t really need a tip unless they did an exceptional job. 

 

Like everyone else, I’m trying to save money on my groceries. If that’s the case, I need to drive to the store myself and pick up my groceries. Saving time using a personal shopper does not equate to saving money. For some, it might mean saving money spent on gas going to the store. But you are using the gas of another, and that’s not covered by their delivery service companies. 

 

Consider changing how you think about these services and tip your driver. I know it’s not mandatory, but it is an encouragement to those trying to earn real money through these jobs. We all enjoy the service we get…now let’s remember to pay fully for it.

 

Soul, It Is...Well

Six and a half years ago, in August 2016, I received some of the most devastating personal news of my life: I had breast cancer.

It was a surreal moment. My head spun and my heart raced. I didn't know what to say to the doctor on the other end of the phone call. I felt wordless.

But God, as He always does, put the exact right person in that position at exactly the right moment. The doctor who called wasn't the surgeon I'd been seeing. He was just the one on duty that day. He didn't know me, but he did understand cancer since he'd already had it, as well. He gave me space to process the news and then explained the type of cancer I had and the prognosis, which he noted was very good. If I had to have cancer, it was a "good" one to have, he said. He wasn't a fortune teller, psychic, or visionary -- just someone who understood from experience and his job.

The next month and a half was filled with appointments and plans. My surgery was scheduled for a few days after my birthday in mid-October.

I won't lie and say I wasn't nervous. But God placed the first verse and refrain from the old hymn, "It Is Well with My Soul," in my head and that helped me through that time. He reminded me of the words and the story behind them. And, because of that, I had a tremendous peace.

From Wikipedia: The hymn was written by Horatio Spafford after many traumatic events in his life. 

The first two were the death of his four-year-old son and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer and had invested significantly in property in the area of Chicago that was extensively damaged by the great fire). His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873, at which time he had planned to travel to England with his family on the Ville du Havre for D. L. Moody's upcoming evangelistic campaigns. 

In a late change of plan, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic Ocean, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sea vessel, the Loch Line, and all four of Horatio's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone …" 

Shortly afterwards, as Horatio traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to know
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain
It is well, (it is well),
With my soul, (with my soul)
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

If a man who had lost so much could say that, I, with curable cancer, could repeat the same words. 

Praise God!

In These Times

ALL Lives Matter.

I am not a racist.

The pigmentation in my skin does not make me one.

I am a human, as are you and all the others of various pigmentations around this globe.

Human.

Not a color in a crayon box. Not a race. Not a racist.

I am not blind to what is happening. It breaks my heart.

But I am not going to erase years of progress with the single act of a terrible human being – and all the acts of the cowards who merely videoed that act instead of stopping it.

The media has declared me a racist because I am “white.”

The media wants to divide us and make us angry and make us activists. Us versus them. They want me to believe deep in my heart I am racist merely because I was born “privileged” and “white.” (I'm merely the latter.) But saying that implies that there aren’t any people of other “colors” who are born into privilege? Isn’t that racist to imply that couldn’t happen based on the fact that they’re not white?

I’ve seen a lot of African Americans who are very well off – some are even quite wealthy. They’ve earned it. They’re privileged and so are their children. They are more than worthy of what they have. Many of the people I attended college with who are other ethnicities are well-educated and earning way more than me.

Does this make them “white” now? Since only “white” people can be privileged?

I am not racist deep in my heart. I love people. Just people. I don’t care what they look like, who they are, what their ancestry is. I might disagree with their actions or attitudes, but that’s not who they are as a person, and their pigmentation does not affect that.

I am not a slave owner. 

I am not and will not be mean to a person based on their “coloring.” 

I do not believe in paying people more or less than what their skills and talents are worth, especially not based on their race.

Despite what the media wants us to believe, we have made great strides against racism. Look around. It is a fair to say that the world has a plethora of "people of different pigmentations" working, living, and educating together. There are still places that have issues, but those are neighborhood issues. (See Chicago and Memorial Day Weekend.) The wrong acts of one person do not equal the sum of the rest of the population’s beliefs.

Go home. Gather your family. Pray for peace. Love your neighbor MORE than yourself. And stop telling me who I am. 

God made you and me who we are. And only He knows our hearts. 

At Home in the City

My brain is ruminating...and so I must ramble a bit...

...

I have always enjoyed exploring the world.

I grew up moving around to different towns in different states, so my family spent a lot of time getting to know new places.

Because of that, being a tourist is easy in one of my favorite cities.

There are the usual places to see -- the Empire State Building, the Rockefeller Center, the Statue of Liberty, the Subway, the World Trade Center.

But my favorite way to see and feel and know the city is to find a coffee shop early in the morning, sit at a table in the window, and watch the world go by. It may seem a strange way to "sightsee," and yet it gives me a chance to see the heart of the city, what makes it truly beat: a mom walking her children to school; a businessman scurrying by, coffee in one hand, a briefcase in the other; teenage girls engrossed in their music and texts, laughing together as they walk to their classes; an older couple stumbling along hand-in-hand; a gaggle of schoolchildren scattering behind two harried teachers on their way to a museum; and more.

And if I sit long enough, I'll see the process repeated in reverse, each person on his or her way home, thinking about the happenings and memories of the day, each a protagonist in his or her own story.

Who Me?

My brain is ruminating. 

The dictionary says to ruminate is “to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly.“ 

The news media would like us to worry about all of our leaders and what they are saying/doing/thinking/supporting. It’s a “he said/she said” battle of epic proportions. 

The fact of the matter is that none of the politicians lives with us. Not one of us — unless we are related to them — has daily contact with ANY of them. Our only contact is through what we see, read, and hear. 

Like everyone else, I find it extremely difficult to separate myself from all that is happening. I feel like I need to know. But what does that do to me and my family and friends? How does it affect those who have direct contact with me?

So I got to thinking...who is responsible for fueling all the hateful speech that is going around? Me. And who is responsible for preventing/changing hate speech and thoughts? Me again. 

It isn’t our president or the media or any other politician or movie star or athlete or singer or anybody at all. 

If each of us — myself included — spreads love and fairness and grace and civility, it WILL happen. It’s contagious.

No one needs to “kick anyone” who goes low. 

As I learned several years ago — and continue to learn — grace and love ALWAYS win. 

Let’s try it. 

In Times Like These...

I love words. 

I love the way they fall together to create sentences, forming stories or poems or songs. I love to hear the jingle of the letters’ sounds together – sometimes making onomatopoeia. I loved teaching my children how to read and process the sounds together to make words. I loved sharing my favorite words with them: saunter, facetious, whimsical.

But words don’t define me. I am not a collection of static letters or sounds. That’s when words lose their meaning.

I am a living, breathing, ever-changing human. I am not what people call me, either in race or religion or creed. My beliefs are my own, not formed by a stereotype or what I am told they are or should be. They are mine. And the basic core of my soul stays the same, but my thoughts are fluid as I observe and grow and process all that is around me.

When we allow our televisions and newspapers and online sources to tell us what to believe about who we are and what we are, it’s time to UNPLUG. When we listen and believe only what we are told, we have given up the power of words. We have allowed fear to own us.

So many people are complaining about the violence we hear and read about…constantly…the “ugliness” that is our world. I didn’t see it personally. I only read about it. What if it wasn’t as bad as described? What if “catastrophic” was an exaggeration of the events…made to cause fear and panic and anxiety in me? Catastrophic has always existed…and recent events are nothing new. And, yet, losing one person is always tragic to me. Losing three…even more so. Those people have their own people, who knew and loved and cherished them. And now they are without them. That makes me incredibly sad.

But fearful?

Instead of concentrating on what’s happening and being afraid, what if we looked around us at the world we can actually see? Look at the multitudes of flowers all around us, full of color and blooming in the final weeks of summertime. Listen to the giggles we hear from children running on a playground, enjoying their freedom and the innocence of just being. Watch a family or group of friends laugh, enjoying a dinner together.

Why can’t we grab hold of these truths? 

They are RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. OUR. EYES. 

They are real and happening right now. 

Why can’t we let go of what the media wants us to hear, to believe, to own. Realize that we may not have “gotten our way” in the election, but then neither did half the country in the last two elections…and we all made it through just fine. What if we accept what is and have faith that goodness exists and that we’ll all be okay…goodness is in children, in furry animals, in chocolate, in a drive through farmland, in a walk through a city, in the rising and setting of the sun. What if we believed in the good of mankind again – in those we know and see and love around us? What if we “agree to disagree” and go back to making cookies for each other or sharing ice cream cones or game nights or movies together? What if we ONLY try to make the small sphere we live in a better place for our children to live and grow up in, refuse to do anything else or read anything else or fear anymore?

What else can we do? Really?

For better or worse, this is the world we live in. We only see and feel and hear a small sphere of it, a mere sliver of all that is out there. Why not concentrate on that for a change, count our blessings and realize that, yes, we are sinful, but through God’s mercy, we are good? We are safe. We are alive. And we are free.

Then our words will be meaningful again. Because their power will be ours – not the media’s or government’s. Just ours.

It starts with a simple phrase: I love you, my friend. Not because we are the same, but because we are different.

I am NOT "white" or "conservative" or "hateful" or "mean." I am just Susie.

A Funny Little Thing Called...Life

There's a thing to understand about life...and that thing is that life is not always understandable.

Curve balls can be -- and often are -- thrown at any moment, without warning. We may think that we have everything all planned out and moving along like our favorite movie's storyline....but it doesn't always work that way. (Wouldn't you love to have an umpire shout about the "next batter"?)

And then there's the comparison trap. We look around at friends, neighbors, movie stars/singers, and even strangers and think that they have it all together. They're so much more successful than us. Their lives are moving along swimmingly, like our favorite movie's storyline. So why aren't ours?

Because those people don't exist.

Hang on a moment. They don't exist?

Huh?

Stay with me.

They don't exist -- not in the realm of our own true reality. They don't live with us, right? We can't look into their houses or apartments or work spaces, like a little child playing with a dollhouse, right?

And while, in truth, their reality is exactly the same as ours, filled with curve balls that throw them off course and create bubbles of confusion, frustration, and envy, they aren't here.

Of course, in realness they are. They are every bit as real as you and me. If they came to visit, they would eat and drink and talk and laugh the same as we do.

But when they're not with us? Who knows. Maybe they're just cardboard cutouts made to keep us in comparison confusion, virtual reality to look like they're there. They aren't living with us. They are people we hear about on the news or read stories from on Facebook...so how do we really know? And why do we really need to know?

Like the Schrodinger's cat experiment, they might be there...they might not. And in the spirit of getting on with our own lives, who cares?

I'm not saying we shouldn't care for or about each other -- that's another blog post (and probably one that I've already blogged about lots in the past). I'm saying we shouldn't care about what each of us is or isn't doing.

Because, if you think about it, everyone is struggling in his or her own way. Everyone feels down at some point. Not everything is "great" in a person's life, just because he or she has money, a good job, a seemingly fantastic spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, sweet, obedient, and talented children or pets.

We're so focused on others and how they are doing in their lives that we forget our own lives.We need to leave behind the "what ifs" and "if onlys" and get to what is.

Enjoy your own job. Have fun with your own kids or pets, Love your own significant other. Worry about your own finances and feel blessed with what you have.

And when you have a curve ball thrown at you? Pray. And, in doing so, remember to pray for others who also face curve balls.

In the big scheme of things, everything else is just fluff.

==============

What are your thoughts? How do we get off the comparison train that seems to derail us in life?

Rainbow Connection

**Soapbox WARNING: I rarely feel the need to tackle a difficult subject on this blog. I like to steer clear of controversial things...but sometimes my knickers get in a twist, and I realize there are some things that NEED to be tackled. For that, I offer no apologies. Mine is a blog of random musings. This is a musing meant to make you think...if even a little.**

It's interesting that the LGBT "community" wants to shove their agenda down our throats.

Constantly.

They seem to need to be validated and accepted. They demand to be validated and accepted.

I say go ahead and get married, adopt children, do your thing. I won't agree with you or accept your lifestyle. But I won't stop liking you as fellow humans.

You see, you can change everything into rainbows for your cause. You can color food and lights at the White House and Empire State Building. You can show "gay" couples in TV shows. But you can't make someone agree with your choices.

If Christians believe what the Bible says about homosexuality being a sin then we cannot accept your lifestyle choice any more than we can accept a liar or a cheater or a drunkard or any other sinner. We can't accept it in ourselves or anyone else. Sin is sin.

We can, however, accept you as equally sinful people loved so intensely by God that He sent His Son to die for you. It won't change how I will treat you. I'll still love you as a person. Serving me a rainbow burger or rainbow Doritos will not change that I love you but not your lifestyle. Making emojis that support your cause will not change that.

It's called respect. I respect you, and I expect that same respect back.

I don't think there is a color for heterosexual couples or marriage. Even if there was, I wouldn't be shoving down anyone's throats, coloring foods or buildings or flags. There are single people out there who may wish they had someone they could love and call husband/wife. I respect them, too.

And is it necessary to broadcast any kind of marriage? Celebrate milestones. Celebrate beginning love together. But stop showing off and trying to make people agree with you.

It doesn't work.

And, BTDubs, the rainbow was a sign from God to His people that He would keep His promises.

Do you know what color eternal damnation is? Because that's the color you'll see for all of eternity if you continue to live in sin. God promises that.

ALL of us fall short of God's glory and sin...and ALL of us need to turn away from our sins and accept Him.

Romans 3:21-26 (ESV)
²¹ But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— ²² the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, ²⁵ whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. ²⁶ It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.

And Romans 6:23 (ESV)
²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Agree to Disagree

Editor's note: I've been going through the blog post drafts I have on here, and this is from 2009. Sadly, not much has changed as far as some of our freedoms of speech go. Maybe it's time to change that...

* * *

Some may be offended by this post...if you think you're one of them, don't read this. You have been warned. *wink-grin*

* * *

Shhh. Do you hear it? That's the sound of my soapbox being dragged out....

I have a peeve to pet, an annoyance to air. It's been awhile since I have felt this angry about something...a long time since I have felt so hurt. So bear with my while I vent.

What is happening to real freedom? Freedom of speech (as long as you don't say the "wrong" thing), freedom of thought (as long as your thoughts agree with what's "acceptable"...to be determined by certain people only), freedom of expression (as long as it's exactly the same as everyone else).

Ugh.

Are we becoming sheep? Lemmings? Emperor penguins even? Being all the same and told what to feel and think and do?

I've thought long and hard about the words "conservative" and "liberal," and it's ironic that the people who claim to be them are actually the opposite of the true meanings.

liberal: broad-minded; especially: not bound by authoritarianism, orthodoxy, or traditional forms

conservative: tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions: traditional

The liberals are outraged when anyone conservative disagrees with them -- and has the *gasp* gall to do it publicly. How dare they! By not agreeing you are basically telling them they're wrong...even though you may never have uttered those words...or even thought that thought. You just have a difference in opinion...which used to be (I thought) accepted and guaranteed by our Constitution? Where's the "broad-mindedness" in that?

But wait. Isn't that what they claim the conservatives do? Funny how that's what the word conservative means. Thinking in a narrow-minded way...being "intolerant" of other views.

I hate Lily Allen.

Oops. Was that my out-loud voice?

Okay, I said it out loud.

Once upon a time I liked her. A lot. I thought she was cute and fun and different. Now, I think she's an obnoxious "brat" who will one day pay for all she's sowing at this moment. She's using her "fame" to promote some pretty awful things. And why? So that she can be heard? So that she can sway a bunch of people to feel like she does? Have her moment of fame?

But I want to ask her some things.

First: Where do you live?

What gives you the right to have ANY opinion on my country or my country's leaders? Last I'd heard, you live in Great Britain...not the U.S.

Next: What exactly did President Bush do to you personally?

I'm sure you couldn't say. It's just the popular thing to diss a President who actually stood up against the evil that was done to his country...not your country. You didn't then -- still don't -- live here. And would you actually sing that horribly vulgar song to President Bush? (Yes, he is still called President and always will be. Sadly, you won't always be a singer.)

So your country joined in. Be mad at your own country's leaders NOT mine. Those leaders aren't puppets. They have their own wills to do what they deem as best. (Do you even have a full education to understand such thoughts? Doubtful. But I digress...and bow to your level by attacking you personally...)

And then: Was it YOUR country that was attacked on 9/11? Did you have any personal loss from that particular incident?

I did.

It was MY country that was attacked. It was MY countrymen that died, MY parents who lost friends in the Pentagon attack. It was MY children who lost the chance to go inside those buildings and enjoy an American landmark.

Finally: How would you feel if people started putting down your country and your country's leaders and you personally?

Oh, wait. You have no pride of country. You have no real country....not acting like that. You're a lost soul with nothing to hang onto...and that makes me sad.

When we promote hatred, we go a long way in pushing back the efforts of "peace on earth" since such "peace" starts with with a tolerance (from EVERYone) towards each other and each other's thoughts. That's TOLERANCE...not agreement. We can "agree to disagree" and still love one another...still be friends.

Until then, you keep singing such filthy songs, Miss Allen. You keep putting down people with honor who actually stand for something you'll never understand. You'll be the loser...since there's no real peace in your heart, the place that true peace on earth begins.

And remember for every finger you point (whichever one you choose) there are still four more pointing backwards. Look inside and see if this is the "agenda" you really want to push.

Okay. Okay. Soapbox away.

Sigh.

Some Thoughts...

Editor's note: This was written back in October 2014.

What if Michael Brown had been a white kid on drugs going after a black cop? Where would the sympathies lie? Would this even be in the news? Probably not, and it's my guess that that has happened countless times.

Racism goes both ways, and it takes both sides to see it to erase it. Even "good kids" can make bad choices.

And so what if he was a week away from going to college? What if the cop had been a week away from being married? Or having his first child? What if he had been killed by this "good kid a week away from going to college"? Would that be any less tragic -- or would it be deserved?

This was a matter for the local news in Ferguson...NOT the national news. And rioting over it? That's tragic.

No matter what "color" your pigmentation, you have to follow the law. They're there for the safety of EVERYONE.

Do You Know Me?

I found this in my drafts and thought I'd publish it. It was written right after the boy committed suicide in January.

====================================

I've been pondering...a-thinking...musing...wondering on some things recently.

A young man in our area decided that his life was worthless...and ended it last Saturday. It's heartbreaking all around -- for his family, for his friends, and, most especially, for him. That a young person, only 16 years old, could feel that hopeless.  According to his friends, he was a handsome guy, charismatic and full of fun. According to his obituary, his passion was pottery. I haven't read anything official in the newspaper about why he chose to end his life, but I'm sure the reasons will come out before too long.

How many people knew him well?  Did he know that? Did he feel special and valued and really known? How many people knew his "passion was pottery"?

Sometimes it's easy, in our busyness, to miss really knowing people. We see them; we interact briefly with them; and we judge them. But do we really know them? Personally? Do we know their strengths and weaknesses? Do we know their likes and dislikes, what makes them giddy with pleasure or cry in anguish? Do we know their passions?

I hate to see a young person die. It goes against all human logic. People are born, grow up, and die in old age.  I know that's not always God's way. But it is how, in our humanness, we think.

So this brings me back to my ponderings...

Why does it take a death for us to really know someone? Why after they die do they suddenly become so much more important?

I've seen my daughter come home from her youth group functions, sad and frustrated. She wishes people would know her better, like her better, actually listen to her better.

She said she starts to talk to people and they walk away mid-sentence. She has become quiet and withdrawn. No one knows her very well. She is an average Christian girl from a Christian home who does her schooling at home.

Does anyone there know her passions? What makes her tick?  Does anyone there know that she danced for over 10 years? Does anyone know that she made it into the National Honor Society and loves to learn? Does anyone there know that she writes for "Voices" and has a keen desire to do public relations and missionary work when she grows up? Does anyone know that she loves fashion design and started her own fashion design company when she was only 9?

Does anyone care?

I know how she feels. I used to feel afraid that it would take dying for people to actually get to know me.

Why is that?

She has a "small group" leader at youth group. But she just complains that Emily doesn't come to everything. Does she know and understand that financially we can't afford to come to the church every time the doors open? Does she understand that we have other obligations, including work and two other children, that also take our time? Does she know that we value family time much more than organized activity time?

Does she care?

Probably not.

She doesn't even really know our names. And, every now and again, Emily is a blip on her radar.

It makes me sad.

It shouldn't take a tragedy to rally people around another person to celebrate who they were. We should all be doing that now.

Sweet Sunday

I know I have a bit of catching up to do...so many special days have passed between last August and now.

But in an effort to get back to blogging, I'm posting a video of a song we sang this morning. Very poignant, particularly at this time.

I'm so thankful that "the God of angel armies is by my side!!"

Sweet Sunday

In today's world, this is especially poignant: "I need you, Jesus, to come to my rescue...where else can I go? There's no other name by which I am saved. Capture me with grace...I will follow you." 

 Hope you enjoyed a very sweet Sunday!

 

Sweet Sunday

We've been singing this in recent weeks, learning it since it's new to our worship group. I especially love the words in the chorus. Hope you enjoy it, too, and have a sweet Sunday.

"All I know is I'm not home yet.
This is not where I belong.
Take this world and give me Jesus.
This is not where I belong."

Sweet Sunday

This is what's been on my dishwasher lately. Ethan put it there, spelling each word all by himself.

Awesome, huh?

Moreover, God is awesome for creating this sweet little boy.

Freedom of What?

The thing about freedom of speech is that it has to go both ways. You cannot tell one side to agree...or shut-up. Sort of goes contrary to the whole meaning of freedom, right?

So I don't agree with the lifestyle choice of the lesbian and homosexual community. (Earth-shattering, I know.)  I don't appreciate them trying to redefine marriage, and I most especially despise their perception of my opinion as being "hateful" to them.

I disagree, but that does NOT mean I hate them.

We've gotten away from the concept of separating beliefs from the actual person.  I use the Bible as the basis for my values and beliefs. I may say that in public or in private to friends or acquaintances. But I never shove it down their throats. That's part of the freedom. To choose to believe or not to believe.

When people (especially those of public-figure stature) actually tweet about their desire for people who eat at certain restaurants (owned by people who support my view of traditional marriage) to get cancer and die....

WOW!

Really?!?

And what's even sadder is that that's okay for them. If someone from the other side says that? It's considered a threat and horrific (which it is from either side).

Hmm...

Civilization can only exist where its citizens respect and honor each other -- on both sides of any subject.

It's agreeing to disagree...and loving each other despite the differences.  Since when did we become such an intolerant people?

It's a freedom to say something and a freedom to listen. In the case of stuff I don't agree with, I just choose not to listen. But the difference is I never tweet about it...or wish ill on someone who believes the opposite of me.

Sigh.

As another blogger noted: Choosing to boycott a fastfood restaurant chain because you don't agree with the owner's opinions and beliefs...such a first world problem.

How indulged are we?

Plenty of companies openly support the lesbian and homosexual communities.  You don't hear the rest of us calling on the fires of Hell to destroy them, right?

Know that even if you support those causes -- or any others I might not agree with -- I still love you. And because of that, I can agree to disagree with you.  That's TRUE freedom of speech.

Friend or Foe...or Somewhere in Between - Part 2

So I started on this subject a few weeks ago in this post.

Friendship has always lent itself to some pretty deep pondering...about oneself and about others...at least in my life. Sometimes it's hard to figure out why some people have so many and others seem to have none.

We have mixed feelings about the telephone in our house.

Sometimes we are excited by its ring...and sometimes we are angered...and sometimes it doesn't ring at all.

We love for the phone to ring when its someone we love -- or, for me, when it's a source I've been trying to get in touch with for an article.

We're mad when it's telephone solicitation...or a campaign call...or a wrong number with someone asking for the same people...again.

It's a bit perplexing at times when it's silent, and we realize that the phone doesn't ring for us very often.

My mom has been encouraging us to get to know people and make new friends. She gets very worried about the kids seeming to not have any friends. She doesn't see the effort I've put into helping them find some and how that effort falls flat. If it happens enough times, people finally give up.  I mean, why is the onus always on us to make friends? Why aren't other kids seeking out our kids for playdates?

Phone numbers are exchanged, but no one calls -- on either side.

Sometimes we're told it would be different if our kids went to school.

Hmm... I agree that they would be exposed to more kids, thereby the possibility for friendship goes up, but that doesn't guarantee friends. It seems that people need to be "desirable" to draw friends. I'm guessing we're not.

The kids go to activities -- at church and in our community. We ask the parents/kids to meet up. We get lots of smiles and lots of "sounds great"s. But still the phone never rings...the emails never come, even in response to our calls/emails.

But it's a different world these days -- a world filled with activities of all sorts and electronics of even more sorts. People are busy, busy, busy.  Kids don't play outside anymore.

At least not where we live.

We know. We've "trolled" the neighborhood, looking for someone to meet and get to know and play with. And when kids do play outside, they're not interested in meeting new kids to add to their group of peers. 

No one encourages it either.

We get polite smiles from the adults and wide-eyed stares from the kids. And one look at my kids as we continue to walk, and I know and feel their disappointment.

My point is this:  Friendship is a two-way street. Both sides need to be seeking and working at it for it to work. When just because one side tries and nothing comes of it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with them or they aren't trying hard enough. It becomes easy to think that.

Ah, well.  Enough pondering -- and complaining. We'll keep on trying...or perhaps it's time to move?

At least we'd get a new phone number.

To be continued...

Have One's Cake...

There's a famous expression that goes something like this: You can't "have one's cake and eat it, too." 

According to Wikipedia: To have one's cake and eat it too is a popular English idiomatic proverb or figure of speech, sometimes stated as eat one's cake and have it too or simply have one's cake and eat it. This is most often used negatively, to connote the idea of consuming a thing whilst managing to preserve it. This may also indicate having or wanting more than one can handle or deserve, or trying to have two incompatible things. The proverb's meaning is similar to the phrases, "you can't have it both ways" and "you can't have the best of both worlds." Conversely, in the positive sense, it would refer to "having it both ways" or "having the best of both worlds."

I did the unthinkable today. I don't know why I did it. Afterwards I wished in many ways that I hadn't done it.

But I did. 

So there you have it.

What was my heinous crime, you might wonder?

I went onto Dan Cathy's Facebook page and posted some kudos to him.

(I'll pause whilst you gasp and choke and decide whether or not you can associate with me anymore.)

I know. I know. I should have stayed away. After all, it's only the ones who oppose his views that are allowed to comment on his recent statements.

Or is it?

It's an interesting world we live in at the moment. 

Interesting in that only one side of any given issue is "allowed" to be spoken. Everyone else must be silenced or else threatened, bullied, and basically made to feel vile for having an opinion opposite of the politically correct/acceptable one.

Um...whatever happened to Freedom of Speech?

Seems to me that it goes both ways. I have to listen to your thoughts and respect you for having and/or sharing them...and you are obligated to do the same.  That's a polite society...that's called respecting one another.

Respecting you doesn't mean I agree with you. But it does mean that I don't hate you...or wish you were dead...or think you're a bigot, ignorant a**hole for your viewpoints.

But that's exactly what people who disagree with Dan Cathy's personal statement on his beliefs think. I posted the following and within seconds got the comments below it:

"Thank you, Dan, for being a public figure who stands up and is HONEST about his beliefs. It is so refreshing and such a blessing to have someone for our kids to looks up to. We will always support your business. And we thank God for you!!"

Comment 1: Learn to be a good Christian and not hate.

Comment 2: What an interesting parent you must be to want your kids to look up to the president of fast food who advertises his "Christian" morals of hate!

Wow!

What did I say that made them think I hate anyone?

And, for that matter, what did Dan Cathy say?

Here's a snippet from an article I read:

Chick-fil-A President Dan Cathy said this week that his privately owned company is "guilty as charged" in support of what he called the biblical definition of the family unit.

The Atlanta-based chain opened its first location in a Georgia mall in 1967 and grown to more than 1,615 restaurants in 39 states and Washington, D.C., with annual sales over $4.1 billion, according to its website.

"We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that," Cathy told the Baptist Press, the news agency of the Southern Baptist Convention.

Later in the article:

Chick-fil-A released its own statement, saying it has a history of applying biblically-based principles to its business, such as keeping its stores closed on Sundays.

"The Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect — regardless of their belief, race, creed, sexual orientation or gender," according to the statement.

"Going forward, our intent is to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena," it said.

Seems to me that people want their opinions heard, but they don't want to listen or read or see or know that the other side is disagreeing -- respectfully -- with them. And that's sad to me. I hear and read and see and know that the other side disagrees with me...but I never call them names or belittle their ideas or hang about on sites they like and wait to post mean comments. 

Whoa.  It's called Freedom of Speech? Something that we're all -- on both sides of the aisle -- guaranteed.

That I could post something personal and seemingly benign that within seconds had comments against it just makes me wonder if these people have too much time on their hands.

Or maybe I just live in a bubble most of the time...  Maybe this is really how the world behaves...

I think I'll go back inside that bubble for awhile...and maybe I'll take a piece of cake with me.

Some Thoughts on Thursday

Nothing is impossible; the word itself says “I’m possible”! - Audrey Hepburn

There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. - Mark Twain

Live your life and forget your age. - Norman Vincent Peale

Sweet Sunday

Today's sermon was called "Bearing Bad News" and continued the series "Daniel: Faith When Life's Confusing," learning from the book of Daniel.

As our pastor said, we are bombarded everyday with ideas and things to pursue that are meaningless. The only thing that matters is fulfilling the destiny that God has for us. The other stuff comes for a moment and then is gone.

Quite challenging...but, oh, so sweet! Enjoy this sweet Sunday!